November Family Meeting Report
A little background info: Every first Sunday of the month, my mom's side of the family gets together at my grandparents house for Family Meeting. This is something we've done since I was a baby and I have such great memories of our time spent together. Well, my mom has 5 sisters, and they each have an average of 4 kids so it was always a huge gathering. In our meeting, each family has a turn to update the family on their lives, and all of the going-ons it entailed. So we still do this, but now our family is pretty spread out so we each email our reports now too. This is the report I typed up for Nov. It's kinda long, but I figured it summed up most of the things I've been meaning to blog about for the past couple of weeks! Enjoy.
We are doing great! Jon is extra busy right now fulfilling his duties as the Utah Rugby Union President. There is a HUGE international match this SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8th, at the new Real Salt Lake playing field, RIO TINTO STADIUM. It kicks off at 1:00 PM with the USA men's select side team playing the select side team from New Zealand. (They will be doing a haka for all of the fans there too! That will be an awesome experience to witness first hand.) Following that, at 4:00 PM our national team of professional players, who plays in the world cup against the best teams in the world, takes on the national team from Uruguay. I WOULD REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF OUR UTAH-BASED FAMILY AND FRIENDS CAN SUPPORT JON IN ALL OF HIS HARD WORK AND ATTEND THE GAMES!!! We really need to fill the stadium to help the sport grow in our state and Jon has done so much work and put so much effort into this that I know we can do it. You can go to www.riotintostadium.com to purchase tickets. We were there last night for the Real game vs. Chivas and are so impressed with the venue! I really don't think there is a bad seat in the house!
Okay, there is my plea. I'll continue now with our report. :) On top of rugby, Jon is staying busy with work. We will be heading to Chicago at the end of this month with PLS to attend the RSNA conference. We will have a booth set up there and our target audience will be the hundreds of thousand of Radiologists attending. Again, Jon and his partner have really done a good job preparing for this and have put a lot of effort and energy into it. I know it will be a great success. Let's be honest though. I don't know much about it. I'm just there to see Chicago and do a little Christmas shopping! ;)
Speaking of me, I am doing well. I have been busy at the Bingham High School Counseling Center every day for my practicum/internship. I have really enjoyed it, and also really struggled with it at the same time. I jokingly say that I am at a quarter-life crisis now as I am trying to re-evaluate my life and make some big decisions about the future. In all honesty, I have really been struggling lately with a little bit of depression regarding the whole infertility issue and have decided to seek help from a professional counselor. I have had some really strong feelings lately and haven't known how to verbalize or share those with others. Last Thursday I had a little bit of a meltdown and ran for the temple. After spending a few hours there in prayer and meditation I was able to better understand my feelings to share them with Jon and finally ask for some help (not something I do easily.) Before running to the temple I read an article by Ardith G. Kapp that posed a challenging question: “If you are not a mother, then what are you?” I spent a lot of time evaluating each of my roles in life and decided that while I couldn't fulfill a role as a mother yet, I could spend more of my time and energy strengthening the roles I was already in. I can be a better wife by...., I can be a better sister by...., I can be a better friend by...etc, etc. This really brought peace to my soul as I thought of all of the good things I could be doing to make me stronger instead of letting the bitterness and anger rule my thoughts, emotions, and actions as it has slowly done for the past 4 years. So along with this I have been trying to decide what I really want out of life and my future if I really do never have kids (this is a hard thing to do since I still believe we will have kids eventually.) I am sick of planning for a future that isn't happening. I have made choices in life with the expectation of having children for so long that I am now ready to start living my life for the present and not the future. Why did I buy an SUV for a family, when I don't have kids? I should have a convertible or something to be enjoying this time. And why are we in this house that would be perfect for a family when we don't have one? Maybe we should be living in downtown Salt Lake in a high rise condo so we can enjoy the night life and culture more. And why on earth did I choose a career in education that would be perfect to raise kids with, when I don't have kids!!! But it's hard to make any changes when I still believe we will have kids. How do you live your life for the present, when you have such high hopes for the future? You see, these are my constant struggles and desperations I go through in this quarter-life crisis. :)
Anyway, aside from my craziness we are doing good and are on a good track. We love having Spence home and have had fun hanging out with him. I was so impressed with his homecoming talk at church and am proud of his wisdom and maturity. We expect great things from him and know he will accomplish great things! I also want to add here that I am just incredibly proud of Jon. I love seeing him interact with people through all of his different roles and to see how much people admire and respect him. He is a natural leader and is handling his responsibilities in such an admiral way.
And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my mom and dad! Sorry I didn't call. And a VERY VERY HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO EMILIE! I love and admire you like you'll never know.
We love our family and friends and are so grateful for their support and love! Love you all...
14 comments:
i was checking my reader when your post popped up, so i get to be first to comment. i'm so sorry you are struggling, and i admire so much the way you're approaching this hard time. i could definitely do better at sorting out my thoughts and asking for help. i could definitely do better at living in the "now" and enjoying it. thank you for the good reminder. my heart aches for you and i just wish you the best.
Oh, Aly! You are an incredible woman! I am sorry for your heartaches that you have been struggling with, but also impressed with how you have been handling it. Know that you are not alone in MANY things that you go through. I have noticed that with myself, that I think I am the only one having these problems and struggles, and then talk to someone and come to find out they are/or have gone through the same exact thing. You are awesome, and love ya!
Spencer declines to comment. But I will. I love you.
You can have Cooper if that will make you feel better!! JK!! I had so much fun on Friday. I really do miss hanging out. Christy and I both agreed that we need to do that more! Love you!!!
Aly,
I really admire your endurance and faith. It cannot be an easy thing to be up against when your body tells you one thing and your heart tells you another!
But its so true that you can focus your energy on your other roles and become that much better at them, instead of wallowing in negativity. That's such a great attitude!
Love, your cousin,
Jessica
bravo. i love you more than you'll ever know... hopefully i can get that love across to you sometime so that you will know. you are amazing. and i'm not just saying that to say that. love you.
alyson, i just wanted to leave you a comment and tell you what an amazing person i think you are... you are always so kind to everyone and you are so talented and on top of it all you are gorgeous.
please call me if you ever need anything. seriously.
Hey Alison, don't know if you remember me or not, this is Carla Califano Clark. Just wanted to say that I understand how you feel and I know how hard it is to want a family and struggle to have one. I've been there and its so hard to understand and handle. Keep your head up and know I'm thinking of you. you sound like you have done a lot of great things so far. I know it's been a while, but if you ever want to talk just give me a call.
I was so touched by your report - it can be so, so hard to live "in the now," and just be happy with the present and not anticipate the things that we want. You've really inspired me to work on that for myself. Love you!
Wow Aly, how wonderfully brave of you to put it all out there on the blog. You are exactly right that sometimes you just have to be grateful for what you have and who you are, and move on from the things than cannot or never will be. To quote my favorite Rolling Stones song "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need." Best of luck, and I hope you find peace.
Al, you are so amazing! I'm so happy for you and where you are going with your career. I always remember you being so good at talking with all of us crazy ladies when we were having issues. You just seem to have this calming air about you, seriously you do!!! You are such a strong, beautiful, amazing person inside and out and I'm impressed with your maturity and ability to handle these hard things life's handing you right now. Keep your chin up!! Love ya!!
I have no answers so I won't even pretend. I do hope that the help you have found will give you the tools you need to feel better.
If you have time when you're in Chicago I'd love to see you! I live right outside of there and have no idea how to get around but I could be brave and venture that way to see you!
lots of loves, hugs, and prayers headed in your direction, friend.
Aly you brave girl! I love you and you're in my prayers. You inspire me - thanks for that. I'm glad that you're working on living in the now. Sometimes if you can do that, the future takes care of itself.
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