well, this post just fell into my lap...

Trust me, there's nothing like having a completely inebriated Asian man break into your home at 1:00 am, shatter the glass vase while tripping over and around the kitchen table, and fall unconscious in between the couch and coffee table. Then briefly waking up long enough to pull himself onto the couch, undo his belt and pants and start to undress himself. NZ police take 15-20 minutes to arrive, which feels like an eternity here. Our poor neighbors are two young sisters. He tried to get in there first. Then he spewed all over the hallway, took his shoes and socks off, knocked his glasses off somehow before finding his way into our apartment. Before the cops can take him away, he sits up and starts swaying and moaning. Hurry, the green bucket under the sink! At least we catch it. Just in time for him to pass out again and plop his face in it. Choice. Finally the cops take him out. It's actually quite funny as he tries to stand and walk with his pants falling down.

Thank you, little drunk Asian man, for teaching us an important lesson to ALWAYS check the doors before going to bed. Oh, and maybe next time we shouldn't leave our laptop, ipod, camera, purse, passports, wallet full of cash, and any and all other valuables out in the open like that. :)

Understandably, it took a little time for us to settle down and get to bed. I snapped a few pictures of the clean up and laughed with Jon at how awesome it would have been to have a picture of him passed out on the couch, if only I hadn't been so repulsed and disgusted.

The first scene of the crime. Somehow he managed to pull the table out away from the wall, which caused the vase to shatter. I think he got tangled up in the chairs.

His ultimate resting place. We're lucky that glass top didn't fall off and shatter.

The stomach contents he first got into the bucket, then tipped out when his head flopped in and spilled it.

He's a saint. I retched just watching him clean this up.

"Honey, what are you doing?" "The dishes." "At 2 am?" "We're going to have to do them anyway. Might as well be now." Can't sleep?

The hallway where he first emptied the contents of his stomach. Just outside our door.

ps. Yes, we're safe. Our apartment board members were awesome and so great. They will have a crew here this morning to clean his stinky bare ass marks off our sofa and the spew off of the floor. Jon was my great protector and stood as a sentinel in the hallway to make sure he didn't come near me or our bedroom. Eventually I went out to the kitchen to hold the door open and watch a saintly woman clean up the entire brown and red stringy contents of his stomach from the carpet and walls. My stomach hurts from retching a few times as I watched that and then later saw him lean over the green bucket and subsequently fall into it. Thankfully nothing was stolen and I know the Lord really does watch out for us and kept us safe while teaching us a lesson. At least he broke the glass and made some noise or else we would have been waking up with a severely hung over man and one big mess in our living room. Who knows what could have been stolen then. Oh well, chalk it up to an experience to remember. Cool story, huh?